Let's Pretend
by jmmy
Summary: Buffy and Angel dance. Songfic to Blink 182's Always. Please R&R?


Disclaimer: NOT MINE! The song lyrics are from Blink182's song Always. I recommend listening to it as you read. Buffy and Angel belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant enemy etc.

Summary: Buffy and Angel dance.

Rating: PG I guess. Not normal for me... G

A/N - Most people always seem to put Angel as the non-dancey type. I don't know, I think someone who had been around for 250 odd years would have picked up a few tricks here and there.

* * *

_I've been here before a few times,  
And I'm quite aware we're dying._

They moved together to the beat. She had her back to him, grinding against his hips. They each marveled at how the song playing seemed to capture their life together.

_And your hands they shake with goodbyes,  
And I'll take you back if you'd have me. _

They hadn't seen each other since the night it all ended for her. This was their way of remembering. A smoking crater now sat where they had last done this. So, the Bronze was no more. The L.A. nightlife was better anyway.

_So here I am I'm trying.  
So here I am are you ready?_

Their dancing intensified as the song sped up. She spared a thought to how the beat of the song reflected the beat of their life – it seemed erratic, almost insane, but it had a rhythm to one looking for it. It fit them perfectly – to those outside, it was almost violent, chaotic. But to them, it was fluid and graceful and it **_fit_**.

_Come on let me_

_Hold you, _

_Touch you, _

_Feel you, _

_Always._

_Kiss you,_

_Taste you, _

_All night, _

_Always._

He didn't listen to the beat. To him, it was the words that summed up their existence. Always – that was how long he would love her for. He only wished that it could come true – his deepest desire was pretty much expressed by this song, he thought wryly. He knew though, it could never happen…

_And I'll miss your laugh your smile  
I'll admit I'm wrong if you'd tell me  
I'm so sick of fights I hate them  
Lets start this again for real._

She wished he would say that to her. That they could start again, that they could have their wish. That the forgotten dream that she sometimes had, of chocolates and peanut butter and sunlight could one day be theirs. She missed his smile so much. She only wished she had paid more attention to them when they occurred, they had been so rare. But she hadn't known what would happen, that he would lose his soul and they would never be able to be together. How could she?

_So here I am I'm trying.  
So here I am are you ready?  
So here I am I'm trying.  
So here I am are you ready?_

He wondered if he would ever be able to tell her about the day that wasn't, about chocolate and peanut butter, about heartbeats and sunshine and the kitchen table. Somehow, a part of him felt like he was betraying her by holding on to it – she deserved to know. But he knew that he would never be able to forgive himself if he told her. And a part of him clung to the idea of that day, and the promise of shanshu, and he prayed that one day he would walk out to her in the sunlight again.

_Come on let me_

_Hold you, _

_Touch you, _

_Feel you, _

_Always._

_Kiss you,_

_Taste you, _

_All night, _

_Always._

Moving to the music, they both thought about their life together, and they wondered if this was the entirety of it from now on. Stolen moments in a club, whispers on the dance floor mimicking those of the couples nearby, promises never fulfilled.

"Angel? What happens when the song ends? When we have to go back to being Angel, the vampire with a soul, and Buffy, the vampire slayer?"

"We do just that. We go back to our lives, and we forget. We go our separate ways. We learn to deal. We fight the good fight, remember?"

"What about now? What happens right now?"

"Whatever you want, my love."

"…Let's pretend?"

I've been here before a few times,  
And I'm quite aware we're dying.

And so they danced, holding each other close as the song beat out its irregular rhythm. To outsiders, their dance seemed almost violent, chaotic. But to them? They just held each other, and pretended. Always.

_Come on let me_

_Hold you, _

_Touch you, _

_Feel you, _

_Always._

_Kiss you,_

_Taste you, _

_All night, _

_Always._

_Come on let me_

_Hold you, _

_Touch you, _

_Feel you,_

_Always._

_Kiss you,_

_Taste you, _

_All night, _

_Always._


End file.
